me


“Who Am I”…

What a question.

As of this writing update (7/2018), I’m a 52 year old full-time student, a musician (vocalist) of 35 years that is a mixture of a lot of strange things at the moment…you can find out some of that by reading the latest blogs if you are so inclined.  I’m also an actor, pet enthusiast, wedding officiant, photographer, film director, web designer and entrepreneur.  I guess you could throw homemaker in there too as I pretty much take care of the homestead.

There’s “always more” but that’s what the blog is for.  Oh, and I’m a Virgo.

Many will view this as rambling, some even narcissistic – i promise it is not the latter. The reason I can promise that is because narcissism almost defines that one acts with only intention for themselves.  I definitely do not do that – and as time has gone on I have found that I finally learned how to acknowledge and own my mistakes, and learn from them.  It’s a huge lesson that we all need to learn if we haven’t – and it’s been key in this journey for me.  i find myself often amazed i’m still here and know how very close i was to offing myself in 2008. i was damned serious about it too, i’m very happy that something snapped, that i sought out help and fully realized something was truly wrong, and that I got to at least get to where i have improved to today – it’s probably the underlying cause behind every picture, post and statement. it’s been wonderful. and i share it with everyone i can, because i know there is someone, maybe several, who are in that same boat and who need to hear the words of another sometimes to get their mind in the right spot again.   that, and that alone, has been the sole reason for sharing the painful parts of my life, and that’s why I’ve done it.  and it’s been worth it because I have gotten notes from those who have benefited from it.  if it’s saved one life, then it was worth it.  Yet, sometimes it seems to embarass people close to me if or when I talk about uncomfortable subjects in life.  I don’t know why.


A lot has changed in my life since moving to Austin, Tx 17 years ago, and that also becomes truer as time goes on.

Those coming here who know me in real life may find some surprises and those coming here to find out more after a performance or film might find out a lot more than they bargained for!  I will tell you it’ll all be honest.  I try to see my faults probably more clearly than anyone thinks I do and they drive me crazy when I can’t correct or reel them in – so I search for answers in writing, music, acting, creativity, and learning.  Acquaintances from my past might scoff when I talk about honesty; I’ll cover that in other posts (and have, quite publicly) but for this page, I’ll just let it suffice to say I didn’t spend a lot of my youth in the most honest of ways, and I learned hard lessons because of it.  What I laugh at now is that for some, living honestly seems to be a very difficult thing to do.

The Virgo in me tends to overload, overbalance, teeter, start to fail, panic, re-plan and start the cycle over again, looking for any method to correct yesterday’s mistake.   It is that cycle that will either perfect me or drive me completely insane.  Virgo also rules me completely in creativity – as I think of myself first as a musician; although there are years I have spent not paying the attention to this technically that I’d like to have; and while i did spend those years singing, I wish I’d kept up the keyboard playing with the same tenacity as I did singing.  But its never too late, that’s for sure.  I have played piano and violin mainly over the years, with keyboards being thrown in there) and percussion.  A very little bit of guitar – meaning like 3 chords, but that’s on the list too.  I write music, I write quite a bit of written word; poetry, book form manuscript projects, and a screenplay in process.

One of the biggest leaps I’ve taken in recent memory was the decision to go back to school full time, and I’m so happy I have.  I’m working on my Bachelor of Science Degree in Audio Production.  I’m so proud to be doing this – and the education in Acoustic Sciences that I’m getting is amazing and more than I thought I’d be getting when i signed on.  I already have an Associates in Music & Video Business; this will give me a 2nd degree in this industry but one that is current and much more valuable than the first.  I have some very big plans to use it both in personal and professional fields, with a specialized application of psychoacoustics has become very interesting to me as my first full year came to a close.  I have less than a year & 1/2 left as of this writing.

Anyway, thank you for reading, if you did.  I care deeply about my friends and pretty much everyone, yet find this is something that often makes people uncomfortable.  I get told I share and talk too much.  Maybe it’s just the other way around.  Maybe others don’t share and talk enough.  I’m tired of feeling that I should apologize or feel bad or ashamed of what I feel is a good and open part of my personality.  I found myself earlier tonight feeling like every time I get to “liking myself” again, I almost very quickly start feeling like I should not be doing that..

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